Yes, but... I don't want to be in the photos

Welcome back to my favourite new blog series where I take all your reasons why you think you can’t book a family session and give you a different perspective. I’d like to say I’m going to prove you wrong but that sounds like I’m Miss Know-it-all and that’s not a good look for me so let’s not do that 😀

Right, so… family photos, documentary style. That’s photos of your children, your partner, you. All of you. Together and individual. As you are. No posing, no instructions. To me, that sounds really easy and simple. To you, that might sound scary.

Wait, what? What are you talking about???

People have actually said that to me in the past. Their idea of beautiful family photos are just of their kids. Cause they’re cute and they grow up too fast. And you know what? I get that! But when you’re the mum, your children need photos of you. Alone, as a set of parents, with them. It’s important!

Think about who you are taking these photos for? Do you think they’re for you? They’re actually not. They’re for your children.

This is something I’m really passionate about. Let me tell you why…

My parents stopped taking photos of my siblings and me when I was about 6 I think. I’m the youngest of 3 so I’ve got the least amount of photos of myself, my childhood, my parents with me.
Granted, times were different back then. There were no digital cameras. Developing film could get expensive. But both my parents liked taking photos – based on the images I found in our archives. I guess they just fell out of love with this hobby and that’s just life.

Another thing is that both my parents didn’t like being photographed. Once I had a camera, my mum would tell me off for pointing it at her. She’d raise her hand or make her unimpressed mum face – which looked nothing like the smiley, caring woman I knew to be my mum. So I didn’t take the photo.
As a result, I have very few images of myself, my parents, my siblings. Over the past months it really started to affect me. I started trying to understand my ways, my habits, thought patterns – all of that has been formed when I was a child and only now I’m starting to question them more and more while I’m trying to understand who I am and where I’m going.

Having photos of who we were in the past, would help me refresh my memory of how my life was as a child and recall them through visuals. I have recollections of my past, moments that stuck with me over time – probably altered by my brain to suit the stories I’ve told myself while growing up.

We can’t rely on our memories alone. Having photos and videos though will help us keep those closer to reality. They’ll also spark other memories from things that happened nearer to when a photo or video was taken. Our brain is truly marvellous in retaining information.

Let me get back to my point… Your children need you in their photos. Seeing your family unit together in images will help them make sense of their world. It shows them they are part of something big. Photos are about belonging, identity and connection.

The fact that you might not like yourself on photos – because let’s be honest, that’s the main reason why you wouldn’t want to be in these photos – is not relevant. Because these photos are not for you, at least not for the person you are now.

Just like your children, in years to come, you’ll be mad at yourself for asking your photographer to not take pictures of you. Whatever you think is not good enough for a photo now, you’ll laugh about in 10 years’ time.

Don’t believe me? Look at photos of your 17year old self when you hated your acne – which seemed like it was all over your face at the time but in reality were just a few spots on your forehead. Or those thighs that you thought were too big – knowing they’ll never look like that again.

Let me capture how you are now, with and without your children, and know that you will cherish these photos later.