One of the hardest parts about being photographed is this: You don’t get to see the result straight away.
You’re asked to show up, be present, let someone into your space, into your life – and trust that something meaningful will come out of it later. That’s a big ask and I think it’s often underestimated just how much trust this process requires.
Because when you book a documentary family session, you’re not just paying for photos. You’re stepping into an experience where you don’t control the outcome in the way you might expect. There’s no posing, no immediate preview, no carefully curated “this is what you’ll get” moment.
So the question becomes: How do you know you’re making the right choice?
Trust starts long before the session
I was recently referred to a mum who was looking for new family photos. On paper, we seemed like a perfect fit. She liked my work, she came through a personal recommendation – usually all really good signs.
But when we spoke on the phone, it became clear that what she loved and what she wanted were actually two very different things. She was drawn to my images, but what she had in mind were staged photos in front of landmarks. Curated moments. Photos where life looked neat and polished.
That’s not what I do. And that’s okay.
On top of that, she hadn’t seen my pricing beforehand (it’s all on my website), and once we talked it through, she felt the investment didn’t match what she was hoping to receive. She still wanted to work with me, but I would have had to adjust my prices to fit her expectations.
I could have said yes. Times are tough and money is money. But I didn’t – for a number of reasons.
Why alignment matters more than booking the job
There are so many photographers who might be a better fit for her. People who specialise in exactly what she was looking for – and who will be able to do a brilliant job. For me, saying yes would have meant going against something that’s non-negotiable in my work.
I don’t create idealised versions of family life, I document what’s actually there: The connection, the chaos, the quiet moments. The in-between bits that don’t look like much now – but will mean everything later. That’s the whole point.
It’s about identity, about seeing who you were, how you lived, how you loved and were loved. And staged photos in front of landmarks don’t do that.
You have to trust what you can’t yet see
When you’re choosing a photographer, you’re not just choosing a style you like. You’re choosing an approach, a way of seeing and a set of values.
The images you see online are the closest thing you have to a preview of your own photos. They should feel like something you recognise, something you can imagine your own family inside of. Not a version of you that’s more polished or more put-together, but something honest. Something that feels like you.
Because once the session starts, you’re letting go of control. And that only feels safe if the trust is already there.
Why connection matters so much
This is also why I care about connection before we ever work together. You’re inviting me into your home, into your personal space and into moments that are real and sometimes vulnerable. That can feel uncomfortable. But it doesn’t have to.
When there’s trust, it becomes something else entirely: it becomes ease. And that’s why I share parts of my own life in my work. Through my emails, on social media, in conversations with people who inquire. I don’t do that because I think my life is particularly interesting but because this work only works when it feels human. I want to let you into my world to feel like I can be invited into yours. Because without trust, images like these aren’t possible.
Before you book, ask yourself this
Family photography is a luxury. And anything that requires that level of investment – financially and emotionally – should feel right. Not just after you receive your photos but before you even book.
So ask yourself:
Do I feel understood by this photographer?
Do I trust how they see the world?
Do I actually want to see my life reflected back to me in this way?
If the answer is yes, then you’re in the right place. And if it’s not – that’s also ok. It just means there’s someone else out there who’s a better fit for you.
And that’s exactly how it should be.
