6 signs I’m not the right family photographer for you

Everybody has a different vision for their family photos, different tastes, and different expectations. And whatever you want your photos to look like is right – for you.

But there are some signs that I might not be the right photographer for your family.

First of all, to take a single “perfect” photo, you have to take a lot. The best photo doesn’t happen on the first try.

There’s an easing in time, someone might be uncomfortable and needs time to warm up. Kids might not play along.

All of these things will determine whether the outcome is “the one photo” you’ve been aiming for.

But apart from that, my style of photographing families is completely different.

I don’t pose you, I don’t ask you to all sit together and smile at the camera. I don’t even expect the kids to do something specific other than being who they are. So this traditional family portrait we all have in our minds – you know, the one taken in a studio with everyone wearing their Sunday Best, grinning at the camera, is absolutely NOT what you’d get from me.

The images I create for and with you are full of connection, real moments, love, and chaos. they’re authentic and can’t be reproduced for someone else – because they are your family and not someone else’s.

There are photographers who have a client closet with gorgeous gowns and cute outfits for the kids. Some photographers will send you a style guide that works best with their style of photography. Some might even send you a shopping list or some suggestions on where to get the best clothes.

I do none of that.

Not because I don’t care or I’m too lazy but because I don’t want you to wear something that you wouldn’t usually wear on a regular day. Photo day with me is not a special occasion anybody has to dress up for. Photo day is just another day.

That means you wear your favourite outfit or jogging bottoms because that’s what you wear at home when you’re playing with your kids.

Your kids might wear their Spiderman onsie, mismatched clothes or run around naked. I will never ask you to change your clothes because it doesn’t go with the style of my work.

Whatever your clothes look like, I will take you as you are. There’s no judgment. Whether I like your clothes or not, has no relevance. These photos are first and foremost for you. If I get to use them for my portfolio, that’s an extra win – but it’s not what I shoot for.

So I encourage you to just wear what you feel most comfortable in. The last thing I want is you to be conscious about how you look in your chosen outfit!

Well, I don’t have a studio. So there’s that.

And while I could certainly rent one, taking you to a studio for your photos, completely defeats the purpose of the kind of images I’d like to create for you.

My aim is to document you in your home (preferably) to create images that represent your life NOW so your children can see how they grew up which will help them understand who they are and where they come from.

A perfectly curated image taken in a studio can’t do that for them.

Documentary family photography doesn’t work with a shot list. Easy as that.

The images we can create together when you let me observe and document you as you are, are very specific to you, your family, your connections and personalities. While it’s possible for you to tell me that you like to read books together or make pancakes for breakfast and you’d definitely want images of that, it won’t work if you tell me specifically of a moment that has happened to someone else and you’ve seen on Instagram or a Pinterest board.

The photos you’ll get from me are so personal and unique, that a shot list would completely defeat the purpose of what I’m trying to capture for you.

Pinterest is great for inspiration. I use it myself for DIY, home decorations and other things.

However, I don’t ever use it for family photos.

I’m not in the business of recreating another photographer’s work capturing another family’s life. I’m in the business of documenting your life in the most authentic, real way.

That said, if you find images on Pinterest that remind you of activities you already do with your kids and realise it’s something you would like photographed yourself – that’s absolutely valid. Just don’t feel like the image you see is the only way to capture a moment like this. Instead, talk to me about the activity you’d like your children to remember in the future and I’ll do my best to photograph it the best I can.

We’re so hard on ourselves – especially women/mums. All the things we don’t like about ourselves are the things we instantly pick out in an image.

If that’s why you don’t want to appear in your own family photos, then I can’t help you. Family photos have so much power – they show everyone where they belong and that they are part of a unit. It’s specifically important for children to see their parents in images WITH them./ To see how they spent their formative years with those who raised them.

But also, imagine yourself in 15 or 20 years, when your kids are ready to start their own adult lives and all you have are photos of them being little – with no trace of you in their lives. While we might not love how we appear in photos now, your opinion will most likely change over time. So don’t take yourself out of your and their future memories by hiding from the camera.

Look back at your own family pictures from when you were small. Do you have a lot of photos with your parents? If so, do you remember them talking about not wanting to be in photos? And how do you feel about having these visual reminders of your life with them?

Or if you look back and you have very few photos with your parents or your family alltogether – would you wish it was different? Have a think about it. And if after this, you still only want photos of your kids, you’ll probably be better off with a different photographer.